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Headlines of the Week

Razor's Edge
Our first headline is from the (Manchester) Guardian:

Thousands of chickens escape after lorry overturns in China

A "lorry" is evidently a truck of some sort, although the term does not seem Chinese.  This story is accompanied by video.  If you carefully watch the video, you will notice this at 0:08:
That's right.  The chickens are crossing the road. Why do they do that? (TOF hears you ask) A question that has bedeviled many a sage. The best answer -- it may have been Plato -- is that it is for some fowl reason.

A second headline, from the Miami Herald:

Gassy German cows blamed for barn explosion

thankfully without a video.  But the notion that concentrated cow farts blew roof off a barn is not something you see every day.


Headline of the Week

Razor's Edge
"Complex being built to last"  -- Express-Times 25 April 2013

My first thought on spotting this headline was that complex beings generally don't last as long as simpler ones because there are more things that can go wrong.  The longest-lasting being is likely to be one that is radically simple, not a compound nor composed of parts.

But then reading further it transpired that "complex" was a noun not an adjective, and "being" was a participle not a noun; and it referred to the construction of a hockey arena.*

Go figure.

(*) Hockey arena.  A local billboard taken out by a dental practice proclaimed their support for the facility.

Headlines of the Week

Razor's Edge

Culled from the WSJ "Best of the Web

Group Snags Trout.  Now That Would be News!

"Mike Trout snags 550-pound grouper at Key West"--headline, Yahoo! Sports, Jan. 15

Unclear on the Concept

"Traditional Wood Antiques Are Beginning to Get Old"--headline, Journal News (White Plains, N.Y.), Jan. 13

What is Wrong With This Metaphor?

"The Bears took a swing for the fences by choosing Marc Trestman to be the 14th head coach in team history, an NFL source told the Tribune early Wednesday."--Chicago Tribune website, Jan. 16

Thank Goodness for Arab Spring

"An earlier version of this article misstated the timing of some of Mr. Morsi's comments. The television interview in which he referred to Zionists as "these bloodsuckers who attack the Palestinians, these warmongers, the descendants of apes and pigs" was made in September of 2010, not early that year."

-- correction run in New York Times, Jan. 15

Contest: Imagine the Context

"Morsi Says His Slurs of Jews Were Taken Out of Context"--headline, New York Times, Jan. 17

Unclear on the Concept

"Obama Declares War on Violence"--headline, New York Post, Jan. 16

No Wonder She Turned Teacher

"Calif. Porn Actress-Turned Teacher Loses Appeal"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 15

News of the Oxymoronic

"Returning Zing to Dutch Cooking"--headline, New York Times, Jan. 16


Odds and Ends

Razor's Edge
How Can We Possibly Explain This Mystery?

"Despite Tax Increase, California State Revenues in Freefall"--headline,, Dec. 8


Head Lines

Captive Dreams

The Answer is No
"Have You Hugged a Port-a-Potty Lately?"--headline, San Antonio Express-News website, Dec. 1 

Hmm.  Well, It's Not the Beard...
"Why Egypt's Salafis Are Not the Amish"--headline, Council on Foreign Relations website, Dec. 1

This is Pretty Much the Definition of a Night Club, Isn't It?
"Cops: Drunk Man Annoys Women at Cambridge Nightclub"--headline, Cambridge (Mass.) Chronicle, Nov. 30


Today's Headlines

Captive Dreams

Oh Well, Cross That Off My Shopping List

"Canada Warns Not to Buy 'Fresh' Semen Online"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Aug. 30

Related News?  See Genesis 2:21-3:7

  • "Pennsylvania Man Charged Again for Putting Ribs in Pants"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 29
  • "Police: Pantless Woman Arrested at Anti-Topless Rally"--headline, WYFF-TV website (Greenville, S.C.), Aug. 28



Captive Dreams
This Week's Most Unfortunate Headline
"Man Accused of Beach Nudity Is Held"
--Boston Globe, Aug. 5

President Obama is committed to strengthening the United States Government's ability to prevent mass atrocities and serious human rights violations. . . . Today, President Obama is directing a comprehensive review to strengthen the United States' ability to prevent mass atrocities. The President's directive creates an important new tool in this effort, establishing a standing interagency Atrocities Prevention Board.

(We can hear the atrocitizers now: "Oh, no!  Not a standing interagency board!  What shall we do?")

We'll Miss Him When He's Gone

Captive Dreams

Unfortunate Headline of the Day

"Weiner Finally Yanks Himself"--headline, New York Post, June 17


Odds and Ends

Captive Dreams
Congressman Weiner Strikes Again!
"Four Restaurant Customers Burned by Flaming Bananas"
--headline, Northwest Florida Daily News (Fort Walton Beach), June 13

Imagine if He Were Not "Friendship Man"

"Friendship Man Kills Himself and Injures Wife in Process"
--headline, Dyersburg (Tenn.) State Gazette, June 14

Unfortunate Headline of the Week
"Boehner Jokes About Weiner's Name in Ohio Speech"
--headline, Associated Press, June 12

BTW, aren't we all just a little bit happier that Congressman Weiner's given name is not Richard?
More Weiner, climate change, Chinese, and Sarah PalinCollapse )


Captive Dreams

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