Thousands of chickens escape after lorry overturns in China
A second headline, from the Miami Herald:
Gassy German cows blamed for barn explosionthankfully without a video. But the notion that concentrated cow farts blew roof off a barn is not something you see every day.
My first thought on spotting this headline was that complex beings generally don't last as long as simpler ones because there are more things that can go wrong. The longest-lasting being is likely to be one that is radically simple, not a compound nor composed of parts.
But then reading further it transpired that "complex" was a noun not an adjective, and "being" was a participle not a noun; and it referred to the construction of a hockey arena.*
(*) Hockey arena. A local billboard taken out by a dental practice proclaimed their support for the facility.
Culled from the WSJ "Best of the Web
Group Snags Trout. Now That Would be News!
"Mike Trout snags 550-pound grouper at Key West"--headline, Yahoo! Sports, Jan. 15
Unclear on the Concept
"Traditional Wood Antiques Are Beginning to Get Old"--headline, Journal News (White Plains, N.Y.), Jan. 13
What is Wrong With This Metaphor?
"The Bears took a swing for the fences by choosing Marc Trestman to be the 14th head coach in team history, an NFL source told the Tribune early Wednesday."--Chicago Tribune website, Jan. 16
Thank Goodness for Arab Spring
"An earlier version of this article misstated the timing of some of Mr. Morsi's comments. The television interview in which he referred to Zionists as "these bloodsuckers who attack the Palestinians, these warmongers, the descendants of apes and pigs" was made in September of 2010, not early that year."
-- correction run in New York Times, Jan. 15
Contest: Imagine the Context
"Morsi Says His Slurs of Jews Were Taken Out of Context"--headline, New York Times, Jan. 17
Unclear on the Concept
"Obama Declares War on Violence"--headline, New York Post, Jan. 16
No Wonder She Turned Teacher
"Calif. Porn Actress-Turned Teacher Loses Appeal"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 15
News of the Oxymoronic
"Returning Zing to Dutch Cooking"--headline, New York Times, Jan. 16
The Answer is No
"Have You Hugged a Port-a-Potty Lately?"--headline, San Antonio Express-News website, Dec. 1
Hmm. Well, It's Not the Beard...
"Why Egypt's Salafis Are Not the Amish"--headline, Council on Foreign Relations website, Dec. 1
This is Pretty Much the Definition of a Night Club, Isn't It?
"Cops: Drunk Man Annoys Women at Cambridge Nightclub"--headline, Cambridge (Mass.) Chronicle, Nov. 30
Oh Well, Cross That Off My Shopping List
"Canada Warns Not to Buy 'Fresh' Semen Online"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Aug. 30
Related News? See Genesis 2:21-3:7
--Boston Globe, Aug. 5
(We can hear the atrocitizers now: "Oh, no! Not a standing interagency board! What shall we do?")
"Four Restaurant Customers Burned by Flaming Bananas"
Imagine if He Were Not "Friendship Man"
"Friendship Man Kills Himself and Injures Wife in Process"
Unfortunate Headline of the Week
"Boehner Jokes About Weiner's Name in Ohio Speech"
BTW, aren't we all just a little bit happier that Congressman Weiner's given name is not Richard?